


Heist

by Sevargs



Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: Alternate Universe, Comedy, Day 6 Themes, Humor, M/M, Return of Troll Goku, Romantic Comedy, Space Pirates, Vegeta being Vegeta (Dragon Ball), hands up for manly fluff, tumblr: kakavegeweek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-01
Updated: 2019-02-01
Packaged: 2019-10-20 08:19:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17618807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sevargs/pseuds/Sevargs
Summary: Vegeta knew from the very beginning that Kakarot wasn’t cut out for any form of intergalactic conquest; but for some reason, he took him along for the ride anyway. He should have known better.[Kakavege Week Day 6 Themes]





	1. Grounded

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big shouts to dreamyghost, cosmicmewtwo and my wife (my coconspirator of evil). Thank you for your sets of eyeballs. You are acceptable people and I like you a bunch.
> 
> For Kakavege Week, Day 6. Each chapter follows one of the given themes by the order of (and some may be implied): 1. Pirate AU, 2. Stop Staring, 3. Flying, 4. I Need Your Help, 5. Valentine’s Day

“God damn it, Kakarot—, if we’re stranded here because of you,” a loud hiss snapped the silence of an otherwise empty field and a meek apology quickly followed.

“I said I was sorry—Vegeta, c’mon—.” 

Kakarot—the accused—held up his hands in defense, at Vegeta’s approach; but his partner had already crossed from the front end of their damaged ship, over to where he stood at a distance. He had been smart to keep that distance, because the instinct of his comrade was to knock his head off the moment he got his bearings and realized they were likely unable to recover from the damage they’d sustained. Even worse, with much of their cargo lost in the process. 

“You absolute buffoon—you better hope this planet has something we can use for resources! Or we’re fucked out here. The power is almost completely dead. Unless I get find something to fashion a new connection, I can’t even get communication back on,” he got close in his face and growled at him, showing teeth to further express his exceptional disappointment. Kakarot was hardly meant for coming along for any of his trips into space to begin with, but he had some expectations of him not to get them stranded on some damn alien planet. He told him not to touch anything he didn’t know about. 

“You’re smart—I know you’ll figure it out—“

“That is not the point you damn clown—if there’s nothing on this planet that I can fashion off; then it won’t matter if I’m smart or not...we’ll be stranded here.” He tapped the device fashioned to his ear—a clear glass display panel that came over his eye, attached to a covered circuit board—and sprung the little electronic piece to life in an attempt to read the surroundings. There would be no real way of determining at a significant distance, but if there was anything close by it might tell him...After a few minutes of combing the area, the device beeped back at him and he scanned the reading it retrieved. “It’s picking up some congested set of low power levels within its reach. If there’s any civilized town. I’m going to go raid it.”

“Do you have to…? Can’t we ask for their help…?”

“With the universal language of what, Kakarot? Chances are they don’t know what we speak out here. There are no artificial satellites in orbit, that I saw when landing us. That leads me to believe they’re not all that advanced, if they’re even civilized. Hell, if I kill a few of them with overwhelming brute force, they may even revere me as a god and just hand over anything I want.”

“Vegeta—“

Vegeta spun on him quickly, pointing a finger in his face, still wound up from the excitement of the ship going down and somehow managing not to die in a blazing fire with it. “You know what I do out here, damn it. You didn’t have to come. I said I’d take one of the others, and you decided you wanted to go all of a sudden. Nappa annoys me, but he’d have come. And your brother too. Hell, even Broly, and I’m fairly certain I’m like a bite sized snack to him if we crash landed and had to fend for ourselves. No, you wanted to come. Knowing full well that pillaging was going to happen.”

“...I...wanted to spend time with you,” Kakarot moved several step back and leaned against the cooling hub of their ship and turned his face down. 

“Maybe out here was not the time for it,” Vegeta rubbed his temple with his finger and thumb and did his best to cool his temper down. It would help neither of them for him to explode at Kakarot. It was not going to get them off the planet. “You don’t have a mean bone in you. We’re not here to trade, not on these missions, Kakarot. We already lost the cargo from the ship we intersected, but if we can get back to the last checkpoint, maybe I can take the pieces of that ship to repair ours. So I’m going to go find the first sign of civilization and see what I can grab and you, do what you are best at.” He looked around him at the wilderness and gestured in a wide arc. “And find dinner out there, natureboy, you can handle that?”

Kakarot turned his head up, brows turning together a little, feeling a little mocked; but he knew that Vegeta was serious in placing some value on his skills in hunting. Who knew how long they’d be there. The least he could do was find and cook dinner. “Yeah, I got this. Just...don’t kill everyone?”

“No promises, Kakarot. If they have and give me what I want, they’ll all be just fine. But if I have to pry it from them, then I’m going to pry it. We’re pirates. That’s what we do. Now, I don’t sense anything strong enough to be concerned about. But if you need me, then the scouters can still reach between each other at least, so keep it on. Last thing I need is to come back and find out you’ve been eaten by some giant creature.”

“The biggest alien worm.” 

“Don’t you even play with me, Kakarot, I won’t even try to save you,” he hissed at him, bristled by the very idea of coming back to that. He would definitely just leave Kakarot to die. 

“I’ll make sure I cook it before you even realize you’re eating very big worm.” 

“Go fucking hunt—” He threw his arm out, pointing for him go make himself useful and to stop threatening him with things that made his skin crawl. “I will be back. If I’m not back in an hour, then open communications, but I won’t be longer than that. Thirty minutes tops. Don’t go off too far. I don’t want anything to happen to the ship. If it’s damaged worse, then we’re really in trouble.” 

“Yeah, yeah, I got it. I think I can handle this much, ‘Geta. I messed up, but I’m not touchin’ anything else, okay?” 

“Right...I’ll be back.” He repeated, knowing he had already said it once, then twice. But leaving Kakarot to his own devices on an alien planet made him feel uncomfortable. He knew he was perfectly capable of taking care of himself, but his inexperience in hopping planet to planet, left him with some weakness for handling himself on an unfamiliar world. But he shook his head and left Kakarot to his own devices. 

If his idiot partner could strand them on a planet in a short time, then he could be alone for a short time while Vegeta went to seek out a solution.


	2. Reflection

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Theme: Stop Staring

The crackling in his ear alerted him that the time had gotten away from him, because Kakarot’s voice followed after and he lifted a hand to answer it—clearing his throat and pressing the button swiftly, to keep Kakarot from jumping to any conclusions too quickly. If he didn’t answer, he suspected that he would find Kakarot running after him before long and he had everything perfectly under control. What he didn’t need him to see was the village he razed to the ground to get what he wanted from them. Kakarot was too soft to see that with his own two eyes, yet. He did keep the murdering to a minimum. Why he had let that mushy shit’s request sink in, he couldn’t say, but it had some weight on how many got to live that day. 

You should be thanking my house husband for your lives, you pieces of shit. He’s supposed to be at home, being domestic and pathetic. But he’s here, wibbling at me not to murder everyone on this worthless rock. 

He frowned, kicking over a pile of scrap and watching some kind of alien...being scramble away in a weird slithering way. The legs had more joints than he understood, but he wasn’t there to inspect the local lifeforms. He wanted anything that resembled circuited technology, anything that he could find—even scrap metal would do if it was in the right temper, for the sake of repairing some of the hull. He could get it back off the ground and at least back to the last checkpoint, if he could get the hull repaired and get some of the circuits reconnected. 

Fortunately, the planet—though more primitive than most—did have some usable resources. They just weren’t native to the people themselves and appeared to be collected from another crashed ship, treated by the local people as some sort of fallen artifact of a god. So Vegeta became the destroyer god to these people, he was certain. Oh well, he did make a very clear gesture for them to hand it over before he started to tear everything apart. 

“I’m coming back, Kakarot. I found what looks like parts of someone else’s vessel. I’m bringing them back to see if I can’t make them work,” he spoke to the device clipped to his ear. “Did you find anything on your end?” 

“Yeah,” his voice came back, crackled through the distance and the thin air of the planet’s slightly uncomfortable atmosphere. He would he happy when they could leave. He felt like he was slowly going to run out of air on a planet like that. “Don’t worry, no big worm for dinner. Promise. But the water is kinda questionable, smells funny, so we’re gonna have to go through our stuff first before we see about drinking from here…” 

“Probably sulfuric. Let’s not test it. I’m not intending to stay here anyway,” he declared, collecting everything he wanted and starting on his way back. No one was willing to follow him after what he’d done. Judging by Kakarot’s voice, he hadn’t heard the commotion he caused in the distance...or he didn’t make it apparent he heard. Fortunately, the local people didn’t appear to have the kind of vocal calls that allowed for loud screaming. He was sure that would have been a turn off for his return. 

Before he could see the ship or Kakarot, he could smell something burning. Something like meat cooking, and he knew was dinner underway. Kakarot had made quick work of his task. The survivalist skills he had were much more useful here than the pirating skills he did not have. Though they only needed them because Kakarot didn’t stop messing around and jerked the ship out of autopilot when he wasn’t right there to correct the projected path—forcing an abrupt landing trying to correct it. At least he had something. That was more than him stranding them and then being useless on top of it. 

“I’m back,” he announced, cutting his scanner off when he was close enough to talk verbally to him. He placed his focus back on the collection of scrap he’d gathered together, bound in what was likely some animal’s fur, cleaned to be used as a blanket. He needed something to carry it all and it was the best he could find that didn’t have him dragging an archaic cart without its wheels back with him. He set the makeshift bag down and let the fur-blanket lay out. “I think I found enough here to get this thing functional so we can make it back to the last one we passed. I think that was 4032-Green-877? Earth, I’m pretty sure, if the location’s right. I know that one has tech. I’ve stopped there before.” 

“Earth? You guys have talked about that one before. You went there with my brother before, didn’t you?” 

“Mmhm, they were supposed to send you there, but never did. Probably realized you would just befriend everyone and then end up living there before you’d ever actually raid anything,” he snorted, and filtered through some metal plates and wires. He moved away from the pile to extract a case from the ship with tools that he could use to bend these things to his needs. They would work for this purpose. Needing to be able to fix problems like this was necessary in this line of work and he felt confident it would hold if he could get the ship through the atmosphere. 

“I just...don’t think it’s necessary to take people’s stuff the same way you guys do...that’s all. An killin’ people who fight back...seems wrong...But that’s why I don’t go…”

“That’s exactly why you don’t go, you’re fine doing what you do at home.” He snapped a piece of metal with a pair of clippers and started to bend it to fit the parts of the hull he would hammer it to. If he had the ability to weld the edges down, he would. He would manage, anyway. The integrity of the interior wasn’t entirely compromised, just the stability of exterior. 

“Yeah...but I never get to see you at home. You come home for a few days, and then you’re gone for a long time...And I find stuff to do, like training and hunting and all that, but then I come home and you’re still away…This is the most I’ve seen you in a long time…” 

“It’s just been busier lately is all. Having to deal with Turles out there hasn’t made any of this easier. If I could actually catch him and put him out of his misery, then we wouldn’t have to worry about much of anything. But he’s slippery and taking our targets. That’s all it is. It’s not that I’m not coming home on purpose.” He blinked at the metal scrap in his hand, taking in the size and thickness, preparing to bend it, before he caught the reflection in the flat piece. He noticed the flicker of the fire Kakarot made, and behind him, he could see him watching him work on the pieces he was trying to match to their ship.

Vegeta turned his head up to look back at him directly, catching the needy-puppy look he had. He probably didn’t hear a damn bit of what Vegeta said, he was just watching him work, with this mopey look of longing like he wasn’t right there with him at that very moment. The handful of paces away from him that he sat, may as well have been on the other side of the planet, by the way he pouted. He was just already in trouble with Vegeta and pushing his buttons wasn’t in his favor—even he knew that. 

“Stop staring at me with that pathetic sad look on your face, Kakarot. You can fight galactic warlords who come to our home planet and pick fights and train with rage muffins like Broly, but you can’t keep a brave face when I’m mad at you? You look like someone just told you that you can’t train anymore.” It baffled him that Kakarot’s strength seemed directly proportional to the seriousness of Vegeta’s anger toward him. 

“It’s not that...though I’d rather be fighting stuff that’s fighting me first, than fighting with you. But...I just…” He went silent for a moment and Vegeta set down what he held in his hands, standing and brushing the dirt off his knees. 

When he came over to stand before Kakarot, his expression changed. “You’re being mousy, and I don’t like that one bit. If you want something, you usually come out with it. I’m not that mad at you. So, what is it? What’s the matter?” 

“...If I super promise that I didn’t cook really big worm...will you take a break and sit with me and have dinner?” He poked the fire and gestured to the meat he had laid out above it. Kakarot hadn’t taken long at all to hunt it down, kill it and prepare it’s meat for hanging over a fire. He just wanted Vegeta to sit with him and put down his fixation on the ship for a few minutes. 

Large concern as it was, he knew the ship wasn’t going anywhere. At least that was a guarantee. “...Alright. I’ll fix it in the morning...whatever that may be. Their star is setting so, I won’t be able to get a lot done in the dark anyway.” He made a face and took a seat next to him, feigning a reasonable excuse for letting Kakarot have his night. 

“Alright…” He smiled at him, light from the fire bouncing off his face more than the natural light. “It’s ready, I cooked it real good.” He leaned, excitement back in him, which Vegeta found relieving in a dumb way. He grabbed a nice piece, cut with the expertise of someone whose mother was butcher and passed along her knowledge—and Kakarot’s mother happened to be just that, and he passed it to Vegeta. “I tried it already, just to make sure. And it’s not that bad.” 

“I’ll be the judge of that,” he took a bite after and chewed, slowly. 

Kakarot leaned close against his ear, “so, how’s the big worm?” 

He bristled immediately and choked, making a very threatening face and snarling, but before he could even speak a word through his mouthful. Kakarot scooted over closer to him, after grabbing his own piece to chew on and leaned against his side, warmly. 

“Just kidding.”


	3. Orbit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Theme: Flying

“Okay, I’m starting up the engines, make sure everything’s closed, and strap in. Last thing I need is you bouncing around in the open because you’re not buckled in. Especially if this thing goes down.” 

“Not really giving me a reason to feel comfortable about taking this back up into space, when you’re talking like that…” Kakarot replied, but buckled himself in nonetheless. He didn’t sound distressed, despite the words, because Vegeta knew he trusted him to not take them directly into danger without a good belief that they would be alright. Vegeta worked very hard to get the pieces back on the ship and Kakarot put some of his muscles to good use in hammering everything back into place nice and firmly. Nothing would fall off unless they hit something. And Vegeta was not going to be placing the ship on autopilot until after their eventual departure from Earth, with the ship repaired, hopefully. 

“Says the guy who downed us in the first place, Kakarot,” he shot back, flicking switches and getting the ship running. The engine was remarkably undamaged and he had the sensors mostly functioning with salvaged wires, so once they were out of the atmosphere, he would likely have a decent range of communication. All was not lost. It could have gone much worse, but he was not going to tell Kakarot it wasn’t as big of a catastrophe as he made it out to be. If he did that, then Kakarot might forget he was in trouble and go right back to being a buffoon again.

Not that he really ever stopped, but at least when he thought Vegeta had immense disappointment in him, tucked his tail between his legs and put his head down a little more than usual. 

“Hold on, Kakarot,” he announced, again, just to make sure he was ready. He glanced back to catch the thumbs up from his overly enthusiastic companion. He still had dirt smudged over his arms and grease on his face from where Vegeta had shoved him up into the machine to retrieve a busted piece from the hollowed section of hull. Sure, he was smaller and easily could have crawled up in there himself. But Kakarot earned the right to clamor up in there and have the honor of pulling out the broken in section. He deserved the grunt work, though he didn’t complain a bit about it. Not that his complaints would have helped him any. When Vegeta was incensed enough, he barked orders with enough intensity to bend anyone. Even this fool. 

Once he set the machine into motion, he held a breath, feeling the ship wobble a bit when it lifted from the ground, but the vessel stabilized. The engine hummed comfortably as soon as they were in the air, levitating in place, and he gave it a few minutes to warm up—just to make certain the ship wasn’t going to hiccup suddenly. He flicked more switches to enable the manual controls and slowly exhaled when everything responded just as it was supposed to. The repair was not good enough for a long journey, but it would do for the trip to the next stop. 

“We’re flying, that’s a good start, I’m taking us back. Kiss this stupid planet goodbye, Kakarot. We’re not coming back to it. It doesn’t even have much in the way of resources to come back for. I guess it wasn’t an entire waste of time. Since now it just means we’ll know better than to ever attempt a stop on it in the future.” 

“I don’t think it was that bad…Had some tasty critters down there...I wish I coulda hunted a little deeper in. I bet I coulda found even better.” 

Vegeta shook his head, glancing over at Kakarot with some margin of dismay. Of course he would spin it into that sort of positive outlook. If Kakarot could put it in his mouth, he would try to. He had all sorts of first hand experience with that one… He shook his head again to eradicate the train of that thought and cleared his throat. “There are plenty of better things to stuff into your face on better planets. This place is bordering on toxic or did the low oxygen not affect you?” 

“I mean...I guess that explains why I felt short of breath, but I still don’t think it was so bad,” he fiddled with the buckles, clearly unable to sit still for very long. Kakarot was not meant for space travel in this type of ship. There was not nearly enough room for him in all of his boundless energy. Vegeta had noted that early on. 

“You didn’t mind the trauma of wondering if we would have to live there forever? Because I did. Knowing that you might be the only person I ever see again, struck me with terror briefly, before I got out and saw the hull was fixable.” 

Kakarot huffed loudly at him, snapping the strap briefly. “That’s mean...I would be okay with that, if it was you. I’m sure eventually someone else would drop down anyway...Then you just steal their ship, anyway, right?” 

“That’s the most saiyan thing I’ve heard out of you. Just when I think there’s no hope for you at all…” 

“There’s gotta be some reason you keep me around,” Kakarot stuck his tongue out a him and braced for the lift out of the atmosphere. The ship rocked a bit and Vegeta ground his teeth a bit, hoping it was just from the exit and not the machine itself; but it seemed to be the case, because the ship stopped trembling when they reached space and hung in the planet’s orbit. 

Once back to easy floating, Vegeta tilted his head back toward Kakarot with a retort he couldn’t bring himself to put away. “I keep you around for one good reason,” he framed it with looking the man up and down, and then catching him in direct eye contact, arching a brow. He was not entirely serious, but the snap back just came so easily. Unfortunately, Kakarot didn’t step back from challenges, of any kind. 

“Oh? Is that it?” he responded, unbuckling himself once he knew it was safe. He floated over to Vegeta and immediately, Vegeta felt threatened by the mirth in his voice. “So...Sometimes you just like being raided a little yourself, huh?” 

“Oh no, Kakarot, don’t you do it,” he bristled, feeling the hair on the back of his neck stand from the sudden closeness of his idiot copilot—if he could even call him that much. 

“I guess that makes me a pirate after all, eh?” 

Vegeta could feel Kakarot’s grin against his ear and he groaned, reaching back to cover his face with his hand. “No—god if you even dare say—” 

“It’s ‘cause I’m always comin’ for ya booty.” 

“I’m giving you right back to your fuckin’ father when we get back—” Vegeta hissed, trying to shake him off, but unable while he was still buckled in himself. Kakarot’s arms wrapping around him made him flare up in his seat and he struggled to reign himself back in, but even his tail unwound and fluffed in offense. “You let me go, or I’m putting you back on that planet and leaving you there—” 

“You ain’t gettin’ away like this.” 

“I will bite you,” he growled lower. 

“Oooh, I like a fight.” 

“Fuckin—I have to fly the damn ship—” 

“We’re in orbit, ain’t we? We ain’t goin’ anywhere.” Kakarot countered, unlocking the seat and turning the chair to face him. Vegeta tried to kick him, but the lack of gravity made the attempt weak. “You look so stressed, ‘Geta, what’s the matter?” 

“You fucker—at least let me unbuckle myself—” he exhaled in a deep rumble, now unable to reach the latch from the chair being turned. Kakarot pretended didn’t do it on purpose, but he closed in on him and the short, faint smirk, gave him away immediately. 

“Nah,” he had his big hands on him right after the sound left his mouth and Vegeta flailed briefly, wrapping his legs around him on instinct, knowing he was done as soon as Kakarot closed in on him like that. 

“—Goddamn you—” He managed before Kakarot stole the rest of his words.


	4. Assistance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Theme: I Need Your Help

The approach to Earth took most of Vegeta’s attention, and that was a fortunate thing for Kakarot, because Vegeta was still hissing viciously in the big buffoon’s direction for his cheeky behavior. While Vegeta could not entirely complain about his actions—though absolutely would, anyway—he couldn’t let Kakarot know he was anything less than incensed. If he submitted to it being perfectly acceptable, then the fight was over. The fight was probably half of the experience and Vegeta was remorseful in admitting such a thing, even if it was only to himself. And Kakarot was so much more into it when he had to trap him, that was clear. Anyone who said Kakarot wasn’t an asshole, didn’t know him well enough. 

He was his own special brand of asshole. 

Fortunately for him, Vegeta didn’t trust the autopilot once he was done being accosted by him and decided to stop screeching at him long enough to direct the ship toward the planet. Kakarot was lucky that Vegeta had enough sense to wait until they were on solid soil before he’d bash him into the ground. Or maybe unlucky. On one hand, Vegeta could have easily punched him out into the empty cold death of space, on the other hand… Immediately upon setting down on the planet’s surface and opening the hatch, he kicked him viciously out of the ship—watching him fumble and try to catch himself with very little elegance for someone who could fight with the excellent form he usually managed. 

“Serves you right—” he barked, jumping down after and landing much more gracefully. 

“Hey—” Kakarot rolled at bit and sat up, clearly not expecting to be assaulted. 

“Don’t even attempt to give me lip. I spared you the cold embrace of death and you don’t even have the sense to thank me for it,” he pushed him over, walking past him. He took a look around and made a note of the surroundings. He had landed in the right place, afterall. He remembered this from his last pitstop here and hoped he could find some way to barter with the mechanic he knew worked on spacecraft in the nearby town. He had only done business with her for refueling his ship—since Earth’s regular fuel source was not sufficient. Surely she’d be able to work on the rest of the ship’s long distance integrity. 

“I heard a lotta puffin’ but I didn’t hear any stop,” Kakarot shot back and Vegeta wheeled around and swung at him, but missed to the man’s quick thought to duck. Kakarot, for all his lack of mental density, did have the instinct to fight and he wouldn’t hesitate to throw one back. Though, his attempt got him a knee to the chest from the position he was in. Vegeta didn’t expect him to grab his leg, however, and he toppled down with him. Neither of them were willing to relent and Vegeta had to wrestle the bigger body with twice the force to finagle out from under him once Kakarot rolled over on him. 

Just when he got up and had his arms wrapped around his neck, he caught the shadow coming over them and he held his position—turning his gaze up to see what was blocking the natural light. Kakarot made some noise of resistance, but stopped when Vegeta choked him a little more insistently—just enough to silence him, before he let him go and turned his attention away to the shapely figure casting the shadow. 

“I recognize you,” the voice started, but came quickly with a hint of confusion, “but I’m curious as to what you’re doing wrestling on my front lawn.” 

“That’s his fucking fault,” Vegeta punted Kakarot again, and tuned him out entirely, despite his protesting—or that he now had his arms around his waist, frowning into his side. “I’m here because I need your help, because of him....wait, your front lawn…? But there’s nothing out here…?” 

“Yeah, but all of this is my lawn, technically...And my droids alerted me to a spacecraft landing in it...so I figured I would come out and make sure you weren’t invading or anything,” the woman put a hand on her hip and Vegeta raised a brow at her. 

“You realize that if I was invading, I’d have killed you immediately.”

“Yeah, but at least I’d know about it right away. Besides, it looked more like you were out here wrestling each other rather than invading us, so I didn’t feel all that threatened,” she looked between the two men and Vegeta realized how ridiculous Kakarot was making them look. But Kakarot was ridiculous anyway and there was no saving that. “I’m Bulma, it’s been a while, so I don’t quite remember…” 

“Vegeta,” he pushed Kakarot’s face until he was at least looking up. “This moron is Kakarot.” 

“Heya!” He waved as soon as he zeroed in on Bulma, as if a switch turned in his head to alert him to function somewhat properly. Or maybe he was doing it purposefully to agitate Vegeta. Kakarot was that kind of asshole. 

“Well, aren’t you cute together,” she grinned a little, looking down at them and Vegeta sneered a little. “I suppose I could help you two out...though, it’s gonna cost you. My labor isn’t cheap, you know. Besides, alien spacecraft? Now we’re talkin’ big stuff.” 

“I’ll sell him to you,” Vegeta pointed to Kakarot and heatedly ignored the protest. 

“Hey—”

“You busted the ship, Kakarot. If she’ll help fix it, I’ll let her put a goddamn leash on you too,” he snapped at him. 

“Hmm...Well, you know, I could use a big set of muscles around the lab…” She rubbed her chin in thought for a moment, looking him up and down. “He’s a big set of muscles. How about this...You let me borrow him for a few little errands while I fix up your ship, and any pieces I take off the ship itself, I get to keep? I’m a scientist, and you’re bringing in alien vessels for me to pick at, that’s potentially a treasure trove of stuff for me to learn from. Plus, I can reuse the materials. And then, I can have your boy running my errands while you help me.” 

“I accept.” There was hardly any thought behind it. Vegeta could see no downside to this deal. She wasn’t costing him a great deal more than Kakarot’s presence and, by all means, she ought to put the fool to work for a little bit. It might keep him out of trouble for once. If he was busy, he couldn’t cause Vegeta any grief. Now, if he caused anyone else grief, that was entirely not his problem, but if he was out of Vegeta’s hair for the duration of the ship’s repair, that would be perfect. 

“What—hey—” Kakarot pouted, looking betrayed. 

“Don’t worry, unfortunately, she’s going to let me take you back when we’re done, but until then, you do what she says. Try not to muck it up too much. We’ll get this damn thing back to top shape and get back home. Then I can punish you to the full extent there, understand?” He took him by the chin and stared him down, hoping for submission. And he got something resembling submission...but Kakarot also smirked at him and lifted a brow at him in a way that made him curl his nose and shove him away, flustered for knowing where his mind took that. 

This asshole. 

“Feel free to keep him forever, actually.” 

“Oh no, I couldn’t separate you two,” Bulma snickered, moving past him already to inspect the ship. “Puppies get sad without their master.” 

Vegeta just groaned, rubbing his face. “...Let’s just get to work. This ship isn’t going to fix itself. Kakarot, you got your warning already. Behave yourself and don’t make any damn scenes.” 

“Yes, master,” he nodded, with the cheekiest grin. 

“...Oh fuck off.” 

THIS asshole.


	5. Charm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Theme: Valentine's Day

“Again, your efforts were much appreciated, I did not expect to get this repaired so quickly,” Vegeta nodded at the open hatch to the fixed vessel. Between the two of them, the restoration had only taken the bulk of one day and not the several he’d expected. She was very knowledgeable and her collection of worker droids definitely helped in expanding their man power. And neither of them had to worry about Kakarot causing mayhem, since she had him running around the whole day. He had been essential, even, in collecting a few of the parts needed for the repair. Which Bulma had been more than eager to get to, when she’d discovered what he’d brought back from the planet they’d emergency stopped on. 

Apparently the pieces of the ship he’d gathered to repair their own, had a composition that she was extremely eager to take to her lab and he was more than willing to just let her have them. They meant much less to him. They were just makeshift to get him back to somewhere to get real repairs done. 

“I am a genius after all,” Bulma grinned at him with a wave. “Thank you for all your space junk. If you guys ever need to come crash in my front yard with more stuff for me to play with, don’t be strangers. You guys are just lucky I’m really used to aliens visiting me.”

“Luck is subjective, right Kakarot,” he elbowed him and his larger partner whined at him in response and took his intention to heart and finished climbing into the ship. “We hope not to have any further crash landings. If I come back, it’s likely for a refueling.” 

“Well, if you do drop back in, bring me a space present,” she winked at him and he offered a short nod to her with a wave behind him, turning away disappear inside the craft along with Kakarot. 

Closing the hatch behind him, he glanced out the window to see her waving and walking away from the direct zone around the ship. She was smart enough to know not to be close by when the engines kicked on. He likely wouldn’t take off if she was too close, but she didn’t make him have to concern himself with that and, instead, let him focus on the controls. He flicked the same switches he did every time, and felt a deep rumble of appreciation for the lack of unstable rocking this time. The craft was no longer burdened by the hull damage and all the sensors weren’t reading slightly inaccurately and creating an uneven levitation field at takeoff. He never felt so much gratitude for a properly working machine before. 

“Alright, Kakarot, buckle in. And no fucking funny business this time,” he shot him a hard look, not yet having forgiven him for his previous stunt following the last takeoff. 

“Already tucked in,” Kakarot gave him a pair of thumbs up and did, indeed, already have himself adequately secured in place. He appeared eager to go home, and for what it was worth, Vegeta was too. This adventure hadn’t actually gotten either of them anywhere. Whatever plans he’d had, got tossed out when they’d landed on the first planet. If he wanted to make any progress...He knew that he probably needed to take Kakarot home and then reevaluate what he wanted to do from there. Though, perhaps leaving Kakarot to his own devices at home for too long as not working out either. Kakarot wanted attention, but Vegeta had work to do. 

If only Kakarot was just a little… meaner. Maybe if Bardock hadn’t dropped him on his damn head so many times as a child, he wouldn’t be so squishy. Or maybe he just took that much after his mother. The real tragedy was that he was so strong under the right conditions. Those conditions just required his loved ones to be in danger or him at the near point of death to force him into a burst of power. Not exactly suitable for what Vegeta was doing when he left home. 

Vegeta wasn’t actually sure he wanted to see Kakarot out there hijacking other ships with him and possibly murdering anyone who might consider fighting back. The level of personality bending that it would require for Kakarot to do any of that would be far too steep. 

All he’d have to do is pay the big buffoon a little more attention and maybe he wouldn’t get as restless. Kakarot was relatively simple. He wanted a good fight, good food and occasionally a good f—

“So how long will it be before we’re home…? I’m guessing we’re probably heading back..?” Kakarot asked, breaking silence. The tone of his voice suggested that he understood that he wasn’t cut out for professional thievery. He had an odd acceptance his familiars doing it as long as he didn’t know the details of what they did. Kakarot was a very see and react sort of individual and Vegeta relied on him not knowing, to keep everything functioning smoothly. 

But there had to be some way he could involve him that didn’t involve pillaging, violence or any crime that would call for objections from Kakarot. He paused in his response, feigning more interest in the panels for a moment before he finally did acknowledge his question and turned to address it—finding a sudden answer out of nowhere. “There’s a few cargo pickups you can use those wasted muscles in helping me get into the ship. Since we lost some of what we had. We have the space. We’ll stop and grab those on the way back. Make something out of this mess.” 

Subjecting Kakarot to the basic delivery boy missions... could be...doable. Provided they didn’t get intercepted by any hostiles. Those had a habit of turning into bloodbaths...But Kakarot, when defending, did have tendencies to not hold back either. Vegeta would discuss the idea with Kakarot’s father upon their return and see what he had to say. 

“Alright…” Kakarot, nodded. He unbuckled himself from his seat when they reached orbit—this time coming over to him in a manner that didn’t make Vegeta want to snarl at him. The cautionary approach made Vegeta raise a brow and wonder what Kakarot had up his sleeve this time. He floated to him and took a hold of the back of his seat to stay in place. “So...Uh…” 

“What...what did you do?” He turned, letting the buckles free from his own seat, so he could turn and address him. The last time he didn’t free himself, he was stuck until Kakarot decided to let him free. Not this time. “You have this look on your face.” 

“Nah...It’s nothing…Nothing serious really just...Ah…” Kakarot fumbled around for something he’d apparently tucked away in his clothes, stored between folds of his shirt and the tight layer underneath. From there, he pulled what appeared to be some kind of gold chain. A decorative piece. The material glittered in the unnatural light from the ship and even from where he was, he could identify the purity of the gold. The chain links were crafted finely, but sturdy—clearly meant for someone who would desire a gold piece of jewelry with less chance of breaking. 

“Kakarot wha—” 

“Happy Valentine’s Day...Or something like that. That’s what they were celebratin’ on Earth. When I was in town, runnin’ errands for Bulma. Heard people talkin’ about it. People get stuff for people that they care about an’ give it to ‘em to show they care or whatever. An’ it kinda seemed a little silly...But I got it, in the spirit of the moment...It’s not much...You don’t even gotta wear it or nothin’...” 

Vegeta stared blankly at him for a long moment, trying to connect the item and his explanation together. Kakarot was giving this...jewelry to him to express that he cared. That was...so absently mushy of him without actually being actively mushy and Vegeta didn’t immediately know how to combat that. So he resorted to his backup response of wondering where the hell he got it to begin with. “Kakarot, you weren’t sent on errands to buy things. What did you trade for that?” 

“Huh?” Kakarot looked confused, even as he placed the chain in Vegeta’s hand. 

“Where did you get it and what did you pay for it?” Vegeta thumbed the gold links between his fingers briefly, looking him square in the eyes—unsure if he should be mad about wasting resources because of silly Earth traditions. But Kakarot threw him a curve ball. 

“I never said I paid for it,” he stuck his tongue out at him and grinned a little bit. “I said, got. Not bought. S’not like I had any money on me, anyway.” 

The gold chain floated between them for the silent moment that Vegeta needed to realize that Kakarot was telling him he actually stole the damn thing. This big noodle actually lifted it without remorse because he was “in the moment”, and Vegeta felt more response to that factor than he did about the actual gift itself. Kakarot’s moral compass was just a wild ride and Vegeta was momentarily struck by where the needle landed.

“You’re telling me you committed theft to give this to me, Kakarot?” He accused, directly, just to see what he would say. 

“Borrowed it without the intention of giving it back?” 

Snapping the little clips on the chains, Vegeta opened the ends and circled the gold piece around his neck. Decorations weren’t really his style, but the spirit of Kakarot stealing on his behalf was borderline charming and if it never happened again with so much honesty, he would keep it there to remind him. 

But he did lean forward, when he had it secured, taking him by the face in a tight grip on his jaw. “There might be hope for you. Somewhere in there. Maybe.” With a rough kiss to show his approval, Vegeta released him and then returned his attention to the control panel briefly to set the autopilot again. “Alright, so tell me how you actually did this without someone seeing a big fool like you do it.” 

Kakarot grinned, “Okay, so…first...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was probably my least favorite of the 7 fics for kakavege week, but it was also the most difficult to work with, because Pirates. But I'm still kinda fond of it. I didn't hate anything I did, at least. Not all was a loss.


End file.
